By Amy Bardwell

1. Dark Star (1974)
This is the one that began my love affair with bad movies, so you know it's got to be good. It's John Carpenter's student film, if you can possibly imagine that. From the four-note soundtrack to the terrifying and vicious alien creature--a beach ball painted to look like a rotten tomato with claws--this is a classic. And the scene where Pinback is dangling from the elevator to the Barber of Seville is priceless. How sane would you be if you’d been on a ship in deep space with only 4 other guys for 20 years?

2. Santo contras las mujeres vampiro, El [Samson vs. the Vampire Women] (1962)
Imagine this: a Mexican wrestler who wears his silver wrestling mask all the time, apparently to fulfill some sort of really vague prophecy, runs around saving people from vampires--vampires, may I add, that run down the street flapping their capes instead of flying and who knock people over the head with clubs instead of biting them, and who use a taxi to kidnap the girl. Needless to say, this is a fantastically silly movie, and watching it in the horribly dubbed English makes it even better.

3. Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death (1989)
The title alone is to die for. This movie flaunts one of the most ridiculous plots in all of cinema history, involving a group of Amazons who dwell in the vast Californian Avocado Jungle, feminism, and the fate of The Free World--which is apparently dependent on said avocados. Warning: the opening scene involves nudity; the rest of the movie thankfully has none.

4. The Killer Shrews (1959)
Trapped on an island. With a voracious pack of dogs wearing furry costumes--*ahem* I mean, mutant shrews. Who can apparently eat through just about anything. Oh, the terror! Killer Shrews is lots of fun, action-packed, and utterly corny. Remember folks, any hunter will tell you that the shrew is the deadliest of all predators! Yes, that's right, not a bear, not a tiger, a shrew. I bet you're shuddering now.

5. Reefer Madness (1936)
Originally a government film made in the 30s to educate the public about the dangers of marijuana, Reefer Madness is the epitome of hyperbole. Now, I'm certainly not going to argue that marijuana is bad stuff, but this movie would have you believe it is the absolute worst drug in the world, turning well-behaved teens into desperately addicted psychotic murderers. And the truly funny thing is that for the majority of the movie, the kids are having oodles of fun, making it look like marijuana is actually awesome. Apparently, the government didn't try very hard when they came up with this marvelously funny propaganda.

Bonus: The first 3 minutes of Vampire Men of the Lost Planet (1970)
This movie was pieced together out of 3 different movies, which explains why the first 3 minutes totally rock, and the rest is disappointing. But really, that opening scene is so hysterical that I couldn’t catch my breath. Those first 3 minutes were worth every cent of the price of admission.